


It’s so good to hear your voice, again.

by TheStarOfLeoV



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Emotional, F/M, Hopeful Ending, KaraMel, Karamel Secret Santa 2019, My Canon, Reunion, Romance, Soulmates, selfdiscovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:40:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21916894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStarOfLeoV/pseuds/TheStarOfLeoV
Summary: What happens when everything you try to block out rolls over you ?
Relationships: Alex Danvers & Kara Danvers, Kara Danvers/Mon-El, Kara Zor-El/Mon-El
Comments: 9
Kudos: 33





	It’s so good to hear your voice, again.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SarahZorEL](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarahZorEL/gifts).



> Hey ! I’m back again. 😅  
> College is very stressful but I had to take some spare time and participate in the Karamel Secret Santa 2019 event with my Karamel fam and friends.
> 
> I hope you like your present, Sarah. Even, if it turned out a bit more angsts and emotional rather than fluffy. ❤️
> 
> P.S. I really tried so hard to write something fun and fluffy but an ending like the one we got just traumatizes you to write a better solution for all the errors the writers did and still do.

  
It was just a normal day, as ususal.

Kara was doing her daily things.  
Waking up, getting ready for work, CatCo, Supergirl, watching tv, sleeping. Every single day.

So, here she is, sitting on her couch, wrapped in her red blankie, scooping icecream and watching yet another romcom.

Lately, those movies don't excite her much anymore. She doesn't know why.  
Kara is also doing her regularly scheduled game nights with her friends. Kind of ironic how she's the only one who stays as the extra tire of a car in those games now. If she remembers right, she was the one, who got everyone into those things. She's not winning that often, now, more than ever she sees herself zone out time to time, everyone enjoying themselves and being excited to compete and win, while she sits there in the corner. Everyone paired up in teams, even her sister Alex. Well, she has Kelly now. But Kara doesn't hold that against her, why should she ? After all, her sister deserves to find happiness again and have it all.  
Have it all... a strange voice and feeling echoes inside her, kind of a light warmth but something overweights it. Something …dark. For a little while it keeps waving up and down inside her but Kara doesn't like that feeling. She tries to block it out, shove it deep down, so she doesn't have to think about it.

The music of a random dance sequence gets mixed with her echoe, a loud thump joins the intermezzo, repeatedly the thump begins to quicken and gains in strength. The sounds become more rapid and fast, a slight breath can't keep up to them. Kara tries to block it out but doesn't quiet understand why her breathings begins to speed up and join the intermezzo. The thump begins weigh her down. Should she just let it overtake her or what else ?

The echoe is unimaginable, the mix slowly and quickly reaches a crecendo.

Kara...

It seems surreal but Kara thinks the echoes are talking to her, calling her. What do you want from ? What do you want from her ?!

Kara...  
Kara...

She can't concentrate anymore, the sounds are taking over her senses like a violating tinitus, her vision turning. An endless tunnel.  
It lights up and darkens out, her breath rapidly quickening again.

Kara...  
Kara...

Just a slight touch something out of this world rips her out of everything she created, it rips her out of her prison, that she tried to get out of... tired to stay in ?

Kara realizes where she is. Her apartment, icecream dropped on the floor, the pair in the movie singing and kissing in the rain but her head is turned to what ripped her out. Her vision focused but at the same time seeing nothing. Emptiness.

A painful scream erupts in her apartment, too strong to be near her sensitive ears.

„Aaahh, Kara you're hurting me !!“ a fearful Alex shouts.  
Quickly, Kara lets loose of her grab on Alex's arm and realizes what she has done.

„What's wrong with you ?!“ Alex exhales.

On the other hand, Kara has a hard time to catch her breath. What has she done ? What happened ?

  
„Rao, I'm so sorry Alex ! I don't know how that happened I-“

„What’s wrong with you ?! You hurt me.“

„I- … Alex, I really don't know how that happened I think I zoned out or something, I didn't even hear you come in. I'm so sorry !“ Kara pleads, taking a step forward to touch Alex's arm.

„Don't touch me right now. You're not yourself. There was something in your eye and it terrified me. I'm just going, you better calm.“

„Alex, please, atleast let me fly you to the DEO.“

„No, you don't have to. Just take some time to calm down. I will see you tomorrow.“ Alex says as she walks out into the night.

„Ok...“ Kara can only let out.

This night Kara couldn't sleep at all, she tossed around in the night, left to right, right to left. The forms, color and cracks of the ceiling becoming very interesting to her.  
The soft sounds of the wind brushing against her window frames, a siren sounding in the distance, she picks up the noise but she hears that it isn't something major.

Kara tries to counts sheeps but it doesn't help. She tries everything to fall asleep but it doesn't work out. Out of nowhere she sees glimpses of her life, small memories from before her life turned upside down, little glimpses that are bittersweet. Those glimpses don't help at all. More and more she feels a weight build up again but this time she can describe it. Homesickness.

She dares to close her eyes again and imagine a perfect life of hers, with no worries, as if nothing bad ever happened. Picking joyful memories from here and there, creating her own reality.

A beautiful What Could've Been.

  
  


If only life coul be like her dream. But it's not.  
So, here she is, having an awful morning at work, stuck at the first paragraph of her article. The words are just circling around the screen, nothing stays still in her eyes. Kara can't concentrate and lets out a heavy yawn .

„Wow...that's a new one. Kara Danvers yawning at her workplace.“ a surprised Nia comments, who was actually standing infront of Kara for atleast 3 minutes. The blonde didn't recognize her.

„What ?“ Kara stutters.

„You know, fun fact, I stood here for atleast some minutes. You didn't even notice me. What's up ?“ Nia asks.

„Nothing serious, I'm just tired.“

„Well, that's a first one, too.“

„I couldn't sleep at all last night, therefore I'm tired and annoyed by everything around me. I know this stuff doesn't happen to me but it happened.“

For the rest of the day Kara kept doing her things and decided to walk the way home after work. She needs to get some air and have some me time, reflecting whatever is on her mind. This part she still needs to figure out tough.  
The walk home seems so long and Kara has tthe chnace some glimpses around National City that she sees every day but doesn't give much attention to, so she decides to sit down on a bench surrounded by trees next to the fast life of the city. And Kara just looks and listens.

The leaves turning brown, indicating fall is here, how the cars are really slow in rush hour and how it's smarter to just walk home rather than driving. Ambitious parents picking up their kids from karate lessons, a lot of laughter erupting. Kara sees how a little family of three walks passed by her looking so happy and radiant, the parents being proud of their little son for gaining a new belt. The little one demands ice cream and the parents agree.

  
_„Look dad, there's the store ! Let's go in there.“_ the little one says.  
 _„It's your day buddy, let's do it.“_ his dad picks him up and starts running, which makes the little one start laughing.  
 _„Hey you two ! Wait for me !“_ the mother shouts.  
 _„Keep up mama !“_ her husband says and she starts to run, too.

It's little moments like this one, that make Kara happy but it also creates a feeling in her that she can't always describe but she's confident enough to know what this is about. But saying it out loud makes it official an she doesn't want that to happen, therefore Kara pretends not having any clue about it.

At home Kara sits on her couch with a cup of tee, yet again. There's nothing much else to do. She already checked in in the DEO but made her daily rounds around the city as Supergirl. Whatever invisible power moved her, she took a very familiar object in her hand. Kara observes the golden ring with the comet on. On one hand she doesn't want to think about it but she allows herself to be caught in this moment fore some seconds, even if it hurts deeply.  
Kara really hates how life works, every time she feels like she feels since yesterday there's nothing to distract her. Not even Supergirl is needed right now and she can't make a fourth round around the city because she already did that too. So there's really nothing to do right now. Whats sucks the most is, that it's friday ans she already checked the group chat. Everyone is doing something with their respective other half.

Right at that moment someone knocks on the door. Kara opens to see her sister, she knows what this is about and the air starts to tense. Kara tried so hard to block out what happened yesterday night but it caught up to he rreally fast,

The two sisters sit on the couch in silent. Not many words are needed to understand, that both of them need to talk.  
Kara waits in silent, it's hard to say something, she doesn't know what to say because it's still so confusing.

Alex makes the first move, „i wanted to come by before I meet up with Kelly for our dinner. So ... I think it's obvious that we need to talk. About yesterday, about how you ignored me in the DEO too, maybe even about long before. It's much needed .“

Kara struggles to speak and just decides to nod but looks away..

„What's up with you, how are you feeling ?“ Alex asks but as she starts she can see how her little sister isn't very much listening, Kara is crunched up, her knees touch her chest and her eyes look at some random point.  
„Hey Kara, Kara look at me. Please, look at me.“ Alex urges and Kara slowly looks into her sisters eyes.  
„Please, tell me, what's going on ?“

„Nothing, really, I'm fine:“ Kara tries to say.

„Really ? And how should I believe you when you literally have tears in your eyes ?“ Alex keeps looking at her sister and it doesn't take much make her break and the next moment Kara starts to sniff away her tears, occasionaly wiping one away.

„I'm just a bit overwhelmed right now, everything around me that I see, hear and feels overwhelms me. I really don't know why but it does.“ Kara lets out with a heavy breath. „And- and I- I thought I could may be block it out and just ignore everything but something just made it boil over yesterday and today.“

„And what was that ?“

„I don't know, sometimes when I'm alone at home, sitting on my own, having nothing to do, when everyone is away doing something, I'm feeling alone and realize I will never have that... have that again. Have it all.“

„But Kara you're not alone. I'm here for you, our family, your friends. You're not alone.“#

„I know that. But sometimes I feel so alone, so out of place. I miss my home.“

„Kara, you can always visit Argo, I really have no problem with that.“

„That's it Alex, you said it. 'Visit'. If I go back, i don't know if I could ever return... maybe I would never want to return, but i have you, my life, my duties here. I know myself. If I go back I don't know if i could return to Earth. My heart yearns to be back where I belong but my heart is split and my mind tells me to stay here on earth because of a lot of logical reasons. It's better for the greater good. My duties will always overweigh everything. And if it means staying on earth to protect it's people, I will always do that. I'm needed here but on the other hand I don't feel welcomed anymore. Humans can always be open to you but no matter what, the one time you don't agree with them or do something that doesn't fit their picture, you're already looked upon with a different look. And I hate myself for cowarding away with Kara Danvers. So many aliens can't do that and I'm so tired of it, so I ask myself, what if i just don't pretend and hide anymore ? Be Kara Zor-El. But what about Supergirl ? She can't do that, she needs to protect her loved ones. This struggle makes me tired and I just want to escape it, go back where I came from, my home, my childhood. I never thought I would have the chnace to see them again, but they're alive. I hope you have understanding for what's going inside my mind, Alex.“

„Kara we can work on that. You don't have to decide one or the other. We can manage some time without you on the planet. We can visit Argo together. Yout mom could come to Earth to visit.If Clark and Lois can make it work you can do it too.“

„That's not possible, Alex.“

„Maybe it's time for you to go out there again. Find someone, to share something with.“

„That's not possible either Alex. I can't do that. It's so hard to trust someone, someone who gets you, isn't bothered with you being a literal Alien.“

„I'm sure that isn't true Kara.“

Kara takes her sister's hand, „Do you feel this ?“ she asks, „Yes, you do, but me ? I don't feel anything, if the contact is coming from your side. You can tap me on the back, thros a baseball bat at me, I wouldn't feel it. At all. That's why I hurt you the other day, too. I can't do that again, like the time with Scott at school or the other accidents. It always reminds me that I'm different. I will never have someone who- who will understand me, who understands all of me. Someone who knows how hard it is to fit in while not fiiting in ! Someone who knows how hard it is to keeps secrets, secrets of a world you know too well, a world you want to feel again. To feel at home again. Someone who understands my burden, my duties. I will never hat that person. Ever ! The person that I don't to pretend with, the one with who I can be just- just me. My perfect partner for a game night, someone I can let go with !“

Alex keeps listening to her sister while she lets it all out.

Kara's let's out all of her emotions, „You don't understand that Alex. I will never have that. I will never have someone like that ever !“ but she also feels so heavy and with a quick breath she decides to just say it out loud, „ ...Ever again.“.

Alex looks at her sister and sees the sadness in her eyes, a small silence grows between them.  
„You miss him, don't you ?“

… „So much.“

„Then reach out to him, you have his ring. You're even having it on you while we talk.“ Alex states and Kara feels caught, „Don't look like that, Kara. I saw it.“

„I can't do that. There's no emergency. I don't wanna distract him with my petty party.“

„That's bullshit, Kara. Maybe calling him with the ring doesn't mean, that he literally comes here, maybe it's like a phone call and you can always pretend that the line is breaking up.“ Alex jokes.

Kara lets out a little chuckle.

„That's what I want to see, no more wallowing little sister.“ Alex says happily, atleast Kara's not silently crying anymore.  
„Kara, I need to go now, Kelly might be wondering where I am.“

„Of course, be with your girlfriend.“

And as Alex walks out the she looks at her sister, „Please promise me that you atleast think about the call. Don't block it out again, okay ?“

„I promise.“ Kara says and closes the door.

She wanders around her apartment, rethinking everything, trying to find an answer for herself on what to do now.

  
  
After a while Kara decides not to do it. This whole situation would further screw with her mind and she clearly doesn't need anymore problems right now. Kara wouldn't even know what to tell him or what to talk about, she can't preten like nothing happened and in what situation both of them are right now.

So, here she is, sitting on her couch. Again. Doing exactly the same thing as yesterday but soon Kara realizes that this won't work again. She has to thing about everything that happened, again. How nights like these aren't the way she wants to live. These nights remind her how everyone can find happiness but not her. Kara has to accept that she will only ever play friend who supports everyone. Every time she tries so hard to block out how everyone is talking about their happiness because she doesn't wan to be reminded.

It's too much for Kara, she stands up to grab a glass of water. Nonetheless she opts to sit infront of the island and just looks out the window.  
Inevitably, a familiar story plays out in her head.

_..._   
_You have so much to offer to this world. So, don't let Snapper or anyone else tell you differently._   
_You know something ?_   
_What ?_   
_Maybe being Supergirl and having you is enough._   
_You think so ?_   
_Yeah._   
_I hope so._   
_..._

But also followed by a sad story of girl sitting at the kitchen table trying her best at eating something while freshly grieving...

With him she could be just herself, not Kara Danvers, not Supergirl, but Kara Zor-El the girl from Krypton, who still tries her best to follow her legacy. But he also understood every part of herself.

All those memories and emotions are too much and Kara allows herself to be sad.  
She takes out the ring and studies the fragile object, moving around the outlines, inspecting the shape of it,

„I miss you so much Mon-El.“ Kara lets out with a shaky breath. While wiping over the symbol.  
Saying his name again feels so strange but so familiar at the same time.

Kara keeps looking out the window, the night sky of National City still so vibrant but everywhere are lights. She wonder what those people behind the lights are doing or experiencing.

Knees to her chest, arms wrapped aound them, she lets her chin rest on them. Slowly, she begins to be one witht he silent which engulfs her surroundings.

„Kara ?“...

  
  
„Kara ?“...

Funny, it's like she could hear his voice.

„Hello ?“ the voice says again.

„What ?! Who- who is this ?!“ Kara shouts out in surprise.

„Hey, hey, don't worry, it's me. Mon-El“

„Wha- How ?!“

„You called my Legion ring. Is there a problem, are you in danger ?!“ Mon-El immediately worries.

„I didn't call you and I'm not in danger, by the way. So, nothing to worry about.“

„Oh okay, that's good. You don't have to physically call me. The ring is already connected to you and even the thought of calling me already activates the call. You want me to hang up?“ Mon-El explains.

„Oh. What ? No. Don't hang up.“

A small silence stretches between them...

„It's good to hear your voice for all that matters.“ he lets out a little chuckle.

And Kara let's out a laugh.

„What's funny about that ?“ Mon-el asks.

„Nothing. I Just laughed. Nothing more. It's been a while since I honestly laughed without having the social pressure to laugh about something.“ Kara explains, „Anyways, when we're already on the phone or the ring in this matter, how are you ?“.

„I'm good. Nothing special. Same old stuff, leader-ing everything and everyone. Currently, I try to enjoy a nap.“

„Did I wake you up ?“ she asks.  
  
„No, not at all. A nap is more like laying around in bed. What are you doing ? How are you ?“

„I'm just sitting on the floor in the kitchen, looking out the window. Well, nothing special, too. The same old stuff, work and Supergirl... and wallowing in my self pity.“

„Uhu... how come so ?“

„I don't know ? Sometimes everything is just too much. Seeing everyone happy, how their lifes work out perfectly while I cheer for them, completely blocking out how I feel about all of this. And in the end all of those bottled up emotions catch up to me. Like right now.“

„I totally get you. Spoiler alert, it doesn't change in a 1000 years either. Seeing everyone happy, while you wonder why is my life so shitty in this matter ?“

„I give an amen to that.“ Kara points out and both join a small chuckle.

„So, you thought of me ?“

Kara feels caught and doesn't really know what to say... just screw it.

„Kind of. Maybe a bit. Alex already told me to call you and it stayed in my mind.“

Both of them join a small comfortable silence but they someone needs to talk again.

...

„You know, it’s so weird to hear your voice again, so much time has passed.“ Mon-El says.

„It’s so good to hear your voice again, Mon-El. ... But I think we don't have to kid ourselves that this situation feels very weird, right ? Like, we talk as if we saw each just yesterday, while so many things are left open, so ma-.“

„So many things left unsaid...“ Mon-El guesses.

„Yes...“

”I really don’t know how to start... This- I’m so sorry for all of this. All the pain I caused you again.” Mon-El pleads.

”Don’t apologize. We promised each other.”

”I know but I feel so guilty causing you pain all over again. It was so hard to leave again when you clearly don’t want to when you finally get back the life you desired for so long. I saw how you cried, Kara, when I said goodbye. I tried so hard not to look back but I couldn’t.”

”I managed. It’s not like this happened for the first time. I get it Mon-El. You’re a hero, like me. I get it, you had to leave, I would’ve done the same. I really wished things would’ve turned out better for both of us.” Kara says.

“Do you think of what could’ve been, Mon-El .” Kara asks.

”All the time.” Mon-El quickly answers her.   
  


“I want to apologize too. I never hated you when you came back, it was hard but it wasn’t hate. If you got that impression from me, then I’m sorry. ... I thought a lot about Argo, how our days there where so wonderful and carefree and I’m angry that this was taken away from us. I’m angry how. Clark and Lois can have their happy life on Argo while I’m stuck here. I love them so much and they do deserve happiness. And while they’re there I’m protecting earth. It’s my duty.”

”I’m not fixated on one place. I learned how I’m much more of value, if I’m at multiple places. Helping wherever in the universe where help is needed. But I know one day my work will be done and I’m thinking of helping through time, recollecting lost knowledge about the dark centuries.”

”This sounds like something for me.” Kara says jokingly.

”You know, you would like it. There’s always a place for a partner on my one-man mission. Time travel let’s you be gone one second and be back the next second while years can pass between them.” he chuckles.

”I’m in ! Honestly, I’m here for it. Let’s do it whenever the time is right.”

”You for real ?!”   
  
“I’m not bluffing.”

Both silently agree that this is a set decision, when the time is right they will know what to do.

”...But there’s also something else I’m dying to say to you, Kara.” Mon -El begins, “I love you, Kara Zor-El. I never stopped and I never will.”   
  


Kara really doesn’t know what to say but she feels the same. The time is never right but the feeling has to be. And Kara does feel like saying too.

”I love you, too, Mon-El of Daxam.”

Both laugh together and the air around them feels so relieved, like the weight of all those worlds was taken and is to be shared between them. Together. Supporting each other.

This is the moment of a new beginning, a light at the end of the tunnel, clearly visible.

A regained hope.

...

”We really need to do this more often.” Kara begins.

”Totally.” Mon-El agrees, “So, is there anything else you want to talk about ?”.

”Absolutely.”

_The end._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all liked this story and I would be glad about comments.


End file.
